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Lilith on the Subway




Poetry by Erin Lynn

Lilith on the Subway 
The noon train moans through the valley of ashes
toward the gray skyline, liquid silver in daylight.

In the tunnel her reflection warns of the year
that starved the sex from off her bones.

She serves oysters rockefeller at the dinner
shift and thinks of Montauk, brine and storm.

By night, the other passengers have aged,
having digested and discarded the morning paper.

Another stack of bones is not news,
the bulge in every pocket is a gun or a gun.

Lilith would prefer a train of oysters,
each with his nacre and no taste for chatter.

Eat this dinner and forgive our kind.









Breathe

I swear, sometimes I'll be staring off into space and stressing about this

that 

or the other, and I won't breathe for what feels like a solid thirty minutes. I don't think you can actually get away without breathing for this long - or without blinking for that matter! - but I swear, it feels like I've done it. Maybe this started the year my heart first really sunk.

When I decided to settle down into my changing skins and consciously peel back every layer of uncertainty; my late-twenties, what a ride.  

The light, doesn't stay dimmed for long.

I remember that faith is visionary. That the world around me functions and dysfunctions, and it breathes, too. It gives, just as much as it pulls and always teaches you that being the big spoon, is what matters
most of all. 
The trust
of it all. The way in which you have to choose, in each moment: within yourself and eachother,
To love harder. Louder. More than you ever have before. To mean it with all your heart

and soul.

 





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Photos by Spencer Kohn

Sleep-In




Sometimes a girl just really wants to sleep all the way in. In a bed big enough to love herself in or
side by side; forehead to forehead; big-little spoon; Sunday Kind of Love. To let the sweetness of yesterday linger for just a little while longer, even when she's exhausted all of her resources, except the right to wake up late and keep her phone on do not disturb. To take in the smallest moment of how vulnerable it feels to be the big spoon and remember that there is balance in being still. Two lovers under covers, slipping in and out of daydreams, peeking our heads out from under the sheets only to watch the sun rise from our northeast corner window. The window I keep wide open, even though there is no screen. The windowsill where I've left our love-fern to soak in light; beneath it a spare key, attached to a keychain that reads, home is where the heart is. I take small sips of coffee and search for a documentary about a man who travelled by foot across America or maybe the one about a family of nine who shared an RV and thrived. Until I find one to settle into, I read a book of poems out loud, then whisper,

Even subtraction is never loss,
just addition somewhere else:
five sparrows take away two,
the two in someone else’s 
garden now.

Featuring Mattress courtesy of HELIX. Personalize your Custom Mattress today. More from my new apartment soon! 

Photos by Phil Sullivan

American Blonde

It’s no coincidence that Caramel has been on my mind; the
sweetness that only a summer of freedom and a lot of love can bring. The kind of openness and adventure that changes your mind about how good it feels to really let go, to fall in, and give yourself the gift of feeling alive. Kind of like

the desire to turn yourself on. To stay awake, catch the sunrise, and remember how fierce a being you really are. 

To remember that chances, the ones you take, even the small ones you feel you’ve missed, leave you exactly where you’re meant to be; eyes wide with starlight, surrounded by inspiration, and change. 

A lot of change. 

The kind of newness that just feels really good. The kind of change you want to grasp into your hands and taste; the freshest air, sweet, and serene. 

If you were to call me a dreamer, I wouldn’t disagree. I’ve spent my life seeking light and loving, hard. Now, something about my twenty-eighth year, that has just got me sprung on adventure and embracing everything new. So, after a season of travel, a move to a new apartment, and some freshness straight from the heart, I jumped hair-first into the chance to introduce some sweet, sweet

caramel 

to my life. A little nervous at first to try something wildly new; to dye my hair for the first time and bring to light (literally) how I’ve been feeling, for so long. It might be the same girl, new look but thanks to Matrix and LashaKeller for shining a little light into my life and making me the ultimate 


Sometimes, 
maybe others can see things that you just don’t. Or, aren’t really ready to see, yet. Like, that you are stronger than you know, 

more beautiful than you feel, and more vibrant than ever. Besides, a little caramel blonde wave, can really help a girl get her groove back, just in case she forgot that she'd never lost it - in the first place.






This post brought to you by Matrix.

Caramel

Until recently, I haven't written; on here, in my journal, or at all. No scribbles anywhere – which, for a girl who has so much to say and lets her thoughts run wild, is pretty unheard of. I guess it’s a mix of  things – a little bit of life that’s slapped me around;

it isn’t love, but pain, that makes you brave.

Some changes I just wasn’t expecting, the moment, before my 28th birthday, when I realized that everything has unraveled. Wildly. And perfectly.

But with the silence and some darkness, too,

I’ve still been really cracking life open.  A flower can’t help but bloom, 

And between it all, there is always something left to love. 

After all this bitterness,

delicious as caramel. It’s like

seeing the sun again after years of only pouring rain on my soul.





Photos by Phil Sullivan
(insert images fr Instagram)
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